but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
And then he peed in my hair
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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