puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize