Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
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