if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
