Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
