We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
