a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
