Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize