found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
