Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
