He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
