Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
