What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i barfeds in our rink
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
