"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
