Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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