Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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