Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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