He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
