Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
