You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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