I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
