So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize