If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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