I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
honey bunches of taint.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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