hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
