We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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