careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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