so explain again why im purple
no
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
