i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Little spoons don't ask big questions
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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