Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We got so high we made milksteak
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
