and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
