NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
