I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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