Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
