I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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