this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
