At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
