we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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