I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
