Umm I'm too high to move.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
