I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
did you just send me my own nude
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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