I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
