I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
