guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
