we have pet lesbian snakes
420 ftw
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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