you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize