I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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