Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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