i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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