so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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