it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
