i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
