On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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