This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
