my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
