worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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