ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
