Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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