apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You made out with two different species that night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Randomize
