There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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