you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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